Wednesday, October 20, 2010

apa dah jadi ni????

emosi jadi xstable...asyk nak marah2...moody...unhappy...sedey...semua bercampur aduk...what is happening to me?...lots of thing happen in the middle of this time...i meet someone, we become fren,  then we become a lover and lastly we broke up...this is how the story always begin and ended...arghhhhhhhhhh...but i just can keep screaming in my heart, alone and no one there can hear it, i feel save this way....ya ALLAH, engkau berikanlah kekuatan kepada hambaMu ini untuk meneruskan perjuangan hidup...urmm have u even been in love? horrible, isn't it? it makes u so vulnerable, it opens ur chest and it opens ur heart and it means someone can get inside you and mess you up..u build up all these defenses...u build up this whole armor, for years, so nothing can hurt you...then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...u give them a piece of u...they don't ask for it, they do something dumb 1 day and then ur life isn't your own anymore... love takes hostages...it gets inside u, it eats u out and leaves u crying in the darkness...so a simple phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' or 'how very perceptive' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart...it hurts...not just in the imagination, not just in the mind...it's a soul-hurt, a body-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain...it's been a month since we broke up but i'm still a miserable little girl...i'm just pretending to be happy infront of my family an frens...honestly i'm impress with myself coz berjaya menjadi seorang yg sgt2 lar hipokrit, i'm used to it now...

         Smile and make people think I’m happy
      I talk and make people think I love me
      I laugh, so they don’t see me cry
      I look at them and hide the pain inside
      I feel myself dying but they see me survive